Sunday, 30 September 2012

Sorting my life out

Its now 2 weeks until I step onto a plane, and Sometimes I wonder if im just making a big deal out of all of this traveling.  I mean its a big deal for me, and for my family, but for everyone else, does it really matter?  People seem to have life changing experiences every day and for most people a gap year is now du jour.

But traveling for me, and telling my story does mean alot.  Its something I have always wanted to do, growing listening to my Dads stories of living in Australia for 6 months, and my Mum living in New York when she was a teenager.  These are the things that coloured my childhood and left a strong imprint.  The fact I have no family (apart from immediate family) around where I live has meant I have no strong attachments to where I live, not improved by the fact that nearly all my friends have moved away.  I feel as though I am being kept here by a thread, which is my family bond, and although I will miss my Mum, Dad and Brother, I need to fly free.

I am hoping that this trip will change me, for the better.  There are alot of traits I do not like about myself, which I feel are learnt behaviors, and hopefully a complete change will help me break the habits of a lifetime.  I also hope to become less introverted, and more able to start conversations freely with new people.  I feel staying in hostels will be a baptism of fire, which I badly need!

I feel I am half way there, having thrown and sold a lot of my old life, its quite exciting, to know I will have very little apart from what is in my backpack.  It really isn't material possessions that matter after all, but the experiences we create and have and the people we meet along the way.

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